VICTORIA ADENEKAN asks couples how they would handle partners executing housing projects without telling them
I’ll be careful to confront him about it
Mrs Ugbagwu Ene
When I find out my husband has an ongoing or completed project without telling me, I will be patient and keep mute until the house is completed if it has not been completed. What if it is going to be a surprise for me? Perhaps he wants to give it to me as a surprise. I will try not to confront him so I do not regret the outcome. It also depends on one’s relationship with one’s husband. If we communicate often and he always carries me along in every move or step he takes, then it might be a surprise. But if it is the other way round, then it calls for questioning not to be caught unawares. He could be planning for another family. The world is wicked and unpredictable.
I won’t live with her in the house
Mr Sikiru Oladele
A husband can build a house or have an ongoing project without telling the wife but the wife must not do that without telling the husband. The wife does not have the right to start a building project without telling her husband. The husband has the right to do that because he is the head of the house. He may want to surprise the wife. I am not saying that my wife must not build a house or do something great. But it is rude if she does not inform me, and when I find out I won’t partake in the project. I won’t live with her in the house she built. The journey to building a house does not take one day. She must have been planning it for a long time so why won’t she tell me about it when we live, eat together and we had children together. I will be in pain and won’t move into the house with her.
I’ll file for divorce
Mrs Adepoju Oluwaseun
There are some people who keep what they are doing a secret until they are done with it. I will be calm and wait till he tells me. I will not jump into conclusions because the projection is kept hidden. But if the building isn’t for us, maybe he built it for another woman. I will let him complete the building and I will file for divorce. I’m sure the court will claim the building for my children and me.
The love between us will reduce
Mr Uche Apala
It is weird if I hear that my wife has a project without me knowing, even I as a man has to tell my wife before I start a project. I will have doubt in my mind that she doesn’t love me or she wants to leave me after she finishes her project because she is meant to tell me before she does anything or even after she buys the land. The love and trust between us will reduce, it won’t be as before, because I don’t know what is in her mind. If God blesses me to buy my own land, I won’t like to tell her about it, I will think twice before I tell her anything, I won’t open up to her like before.
I’ll forgive him if the excuses are tenable
Mrs Adeleye Olayemi
Such a situation should not be if there is love between the couple. Couples are meant to have good communication every day. I will ask him why he did that. He will have his reasons and if his reasons are tenable, I might pardon him. It is a couple issue, not boyfriend and girlfriend level, so we will fight and settle after persuasions.
In my own opinion, it can be more forgivable if it’s a husband that builds a house without informing his wife than when it is a wife who builds a house without informing her husband. But I don’t like the idea of my husband having a project without telling me. It’s better he informs me.
It shows the partner is insincere
Mr Festus Agunbiade
Normally, two people in a marriage are supposed to be one, so everything they do must be in agreement. The normal thing to do is for one’s spouse to know about the project one is working on from the beginning to the end of the project. Hiding a building project from one’s spouse has deviated from the norm. People may have reasons for doing that but that does not make it normal. Imagine, you claim at the altar on your wedding day that you would love your spouse with your body, heart, and soul, now you are working on a project and hiding it from your spouse. You love someone with your heart and you are hiding a project from him/her, it means you are deceiving the person.
I would show anger in my own way
Mrs Grace Lordy
I would not be happy if I find out my husband has an ongoing building project or completed it without my knowledge. No one would be happy if such a thing happened to them except it meant to be a surprise for me. I would be angry with him. I would show anger in my own way. If I discover that he has another family that he built the house for, I will express anger in my own way. I would not have his time and if he wants peace to reign in the house, it is either he sells the house he built for the other family and brings the money home or he builds the same house for me too or something better. I can’t be taking care of him in the house we both live in and he will be taking care of another family outside.
I will end the marriage
Mr Thankgod Morgan
I will end the marriage if such a thing happens because there is no need to stay with someone who doesn’t trust me. Lands, houses, and fixed assets are part of the family’s assets and if I tell my wife all that is going on with me and she doesn’t tell me about hers, then there is a big problem in the bond that holds us and if it is not mended, it could cause a crack.
I won’t support such attitude
Mrs Ajayi Seunara
In my own opinion, I’m not in support of such even if I am the type that doesn’t tell anyone about an ongoing project till I’m done with it. My husband should not be exempted because he is not just anyone to me, he is part of me. My husband might have more ideas than I do in making the project successful. There’s a saying that two good heads are better than one. Some ideas when shared with the right and trustworthy person always come into manifestation quickly. Even if the original owner wants to relent due to one challenge or the other, one’s partner will always encourage one to continue. But one has to make sure that the person one is sharing one’s ideas with is mature. My husband and I will never hide things from each other.
It shows we have a deceitful union
Mr Progress Nwokeoma
Everything falls back to the man (husband). If your partner would do such a thing and not tell you, then it shows how irresponsible you are for her not to trust you. If any woman goes ahead to build a house and/or buy any property while in a marriage with me and does not tell me even after the building has been done, then it means the marriage is not built on trust so it is better we either end it or work on the terms of the agreement. As a spouse, I should know everything about what my partner is doing. It shows that I am part of the process, and if she doesn’t tell me, it shows how deceitful the union is.
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