Our correspondent speaks with some couples on how they would react to public embarrassment of their spouses in their presence
Anyone who embarrasses my spouse seeks my anger
Mr Wole Kujembola
No gentleman in his right senses will watch his spouse being embarrassed in his presence. First, embarrassment varies, but there is no level of embarrassment against one’s spouse that should be tolerated. No matter who the offender is, I will deal with the person. If the person has a wife, he will know that a woman must be treated gently and with respect, not to talk of another person’s wife.
It means someone who chooses to embarrass one spouse should be really dealt with. Women are fragile beings that one should be careful with. Every woman must be treated specially, and any man that treats my spouse anyhow or embarrasses her is automatically looking for trouble. My spouse is my celebrity.
I’ll not fight in public
Mrs Alonge Dolapo
It depends on what happened because embarrassing my spouse in my presence won’t go down well with me. It also depends on what transpired between them. If my husband is at fault, I will look for a way to talk to the person and make him or her realise that public embarrassment is not the best. They can sit somewhere and sort the issue out. The embarrassment might be due to many reasons. The person might be my husband’s ex. In that case, I might not be able to say anything about it because embarrassing him is not the way out. If he’s not at fault, maybe the person is just aggressive, I won’t fight because we will both become a nuisance in public. I will look for a way to settle it but I will talk to the person in a rude way.
I’ll explore legal means if the person isn’t remorseful
Mr Arogundade Samuel
Embarrassment is a situation that makes someone feels ashamed and uncomfortable in front of other people. Now for someone to deliberately or in error cause my spouse to be in that condition, especially in public, I would be affected indirectly and a reaction must follow. Expectedly, reaction under such circumstances differs from person to person. For me, calming my spouse would be my first action, and thereafter seek to know why such embarrassment happened. I will handle the issue with wisdom and as civil as possible. Since we are not in a banana republic, it is only normal and mature to hear from the offender why he or she decided to embarrass my spouse. If such embarrassment happened deliberately and the fellow isn’t remorseful, I won’t go physical but resort to legal action against him or her. But if such embarrassment was done in error and the fellow is remorseful and tenders unreserved apology to my spouse, I will persuade my spouse to let go and move on. Peace is better and always above violence and we should learn how to tolerate ourselves especially when options are available for us to explore.
I’ll ascertain what caused the issue
Mrs Adebimpe Comfort
Actually, it depends on the situation at hand. The person might mistake my spouse for another person. In this case, I will not take it easy. I’m the kind of person that sits back to observe my surroundings in any situation. If I happen to be at the scene, I will definitely serve that person back using a greater measurement of embarrassment compared to what he or she served my spouse. I will ask the person what happened to double-check for certainty. The person can’t just go about harassing people. But if it was a case of embarrassment between him and his ‘mistress,’ I would sit back and enjoy the moment and pay attention to the cause of their argument so that when we get home I will serve him hotter trouble.
I’ll retaliate if the person slaps my wife
Mr Noah Livingstone
For someone to embarrass my spouse, there is definitely a reason behind it. In the first instance, I don’t joke with my spouse. I will ask what transpired between them before I know which punishment the person deserves. Probably, the person slaps my spouse. If the person is right then he or she deserves a slap. But if he or she is wrong and he or she embarrasses my spouse, I won’t take it easy with the person. I will make sure I teach the person a lesson for embarrassing my spouse publicly. If it doesn’t involve slapping and my spouse is the one at fault, I will apologise and leave the place with my wife.
I’ll try amicable settlement
Mrs Nkoyo Asuquo
This is deep. It depends on the type of embarrassment. But I will try to calm down the situation instead of aggravating it. My allegiance is to my spouse no matter what caused the embarrassment. I don’t like drama and won’t like to create an unnecessary scene by trying to fight back. I believe whatever caused it could be settled amicably.
I’ll only spare him if he’s a military man
Mr Samson Ogunbajo
It depends on who the person is and that will determine how I will react. If it is a military man that embarrasses my wife in my presence, there’s nothing I can do. I will just take my wife and walk away. But if the person is a civilian, then it depends on the situation. If my wife is the one at fault, I will not say anything. I won’t apologise to the person. I will take my wife and walk away. But if it is the other way round, I will just talk to the person. I will ask him why he did what he did. If he behaves stubbornly or arrogantly, then things can get out of hand.
I’ll try and make peace
Mrs Toyin Ajayi
It depends on how the person embarrassed my spouse and what happened between them. I can’t stand there and watch my spouse being disgraced publicly without doing anything. Whatever may be the cause of the embarrassment, I will try to calm the person down or I will help them settle it. My spouse might be at fault and it might be the other person that is at fault. In a case where the person and my spouse had something together, I will persuade the person to let them go to a private place and settle the matter without any violence. I don’t like trouble, even if the person is at fault, I will still make peace with the person.
I may retaliate if the act is physical
Mrs Ranti Arobasalu
I can’t let someone embarrass my husband publicly in my presence, I won’t like that. It’s a slap on my face indirectly. It also depends on who is at fault and how the person carried out the ‘embarrassment.’ If it was a physical action, like the person hit’s my spouse, I would be forced to retaliate but if it’s a verbal action, I will try to walk away with my husband. Also if my husband is at fault, I will apologise to the person and we will leave the place immediately. But if the person is the one at fault, things might not go well. I will try not to fight back though.
I’ll not stay calm
Mr Bayo Akomolafe
I can’t be in a situation where my wife is being embarrassed and I will be calm. First, I will ask the person what ensued between them. If my wife is at fault, I will ask him the reason for embarrassing her. If he is the one at fault then what I will do to him will make him regret his action. He should have applied sense from the start and behaved responsibly. What could make him embarrass someone publicly? Whatever it’s could be settled in private without much drama.
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