The newly wedded are always soaked in euphoria after the exchange of vows. The pleasure of vacationing in the choicest romantic venues is another adventure new couples are eager to experience. But the realities of life after the honeymoon can cause such excitement to wane after some months.
Research has discovered that during the first year of marriage there was an increase in sexual satisfaction and months after a sloppy decline.
The reason for this, according to a social psychologist, Justin Lehmiller, was the desire and openness of couples to quickly learn about each other’s sexual likes and dislikes during the early days. The result of which led to increased sexual satisfaction. The decline was linked to a reduced frequency of sexual activities occasioned by a reduction in sexual satisfaction and passion.
A sex therapist, Jade Emperor, stated that for couples to revive their sexual lives, they needed to pin down what caused the decline. Below are about seven ways young couples can keep the fire of their love lives glowing.
Identify cause of problem
Emperor advised that solving a problem started with identifying the root cause, urging couples to travel down memory lane to discover what went wrong and when it did.
He said, “It all starts from identifying the problem. Such problems can be sex drive issues, such as the woman having a high libido and the man having a low libido among others.”
The problems, when identified, would further engender viable and tailor-made solutions.
Communication is an important tool in humans; it is also a necessary tool for healthy sexual lives in couples. Many things can douse the burning flames of couples’ sex lives but communication involving opening up to each other about sexual interactions would rekindle the fire of love. Emperor advised couples to communicate actively during sex.
Be open to exploring new styles
Repeating the same thing over and over again, among other things, would make sexual life boring over time.
Lehmiller said “Humans are “wired” for novelty in the bedroom, so when people start having sex with just one person, the same way, every time, the excitement can fade. Thankfully, this doesn’t mean that your sex life is doomed forever. If you’re willing to put in a little effort, you can transform a humdrum bedroom into a sexual paradise that continually delights you and your partner.”
The sex therapist also advised, “Couples can revive their sex life by being open to exploring. Yes, their minds need to be opened to exploring and trying out new things. New sex styles, new sex acts, spending time on some things, discarding some previous knowledge and taking up new ones. Other than the typical missionary (Mummy and daddy style) you can always work on other variations of the missionary like advanced missionary, open missionary etc or just explore other positions like cowgirl, doggie, scissors and most especially spooning.”
Discuss each other’s sexual fantasies
Lehmiller noted that almost everyone has sexual fantasies and has them frequently, adding “However, many of us have never shared these fantasies with a partner, let alone acted on them. This might be preventing us from getting everything we want from our sex lives. You have to tell each other what you want to get it. Discover ways to share your fantasies Start a conversation, play a game, or download an app with kinds of ways to spice up your sex life like this.”
Research found that couples with the happiest sex lives were those more likely to share and act on their sexual fantasies with each other. This further emphasises the importance of sexual communication.
Create the right atmosphere
Setting the scene or establishing the mood before sexual acts will lead to more sexual satisfaction. This can be done by creating a relaxed atmosphere that is comfortable for you and your partner. Other tips are to dim the lights of the bedroom, consider burning some scented candles for additional ambience, and make sure the sheets and room are clean and clutter-free. This would help to create an inviting sexual environment in a long-term relationship.
Flirt like singles
Flirting like you and your partner used to when you were dating can help to keep the passion alive. These involve showing an overall interest and investment in your spouse through random acts of love like surprise flowers, date nights and assistance with projects, and bold overtures among others.
Leave sensual love notes
Love letters, as it is commonly called, may seem to be outdated but they could be another creative means of appreciating your partner and letting them know you are in the mood.
The fun part would be hiding the notes in bizarre places around the house with messages that will make your partner smile or horny. In the notes, you could detail what you would like to do the next time as well as share past encounters you have had together and how much they turn you on. Creatively putting these tips into practice would help create excitement and spice up your sex life.